Friday, 25 July 2014

The Baby Weight Debate

Weight- it's a subject that can be a bit of a taboo, and Baby Weight even more-so. The media sparks us off, sometimes pitting us against each other. The fat camp vs the thin camp, neither coming out as the winner. I see body shaming everyday, not only in the media but in our every day lives with real people too. As a new Mum I really felt the brunt of this and it knocked my confidence. Carrie is also a Mum and we both feel quite strongly on this issue. We decided to collaborate on this one and share our views with you.


I read an article by a certain reality tv 'star' which quite frankly irritated me. 

It was about how some celebrities make 'real women' (I hate that term) feel under pressure to lose their baby weight and give them unrealistic expectations about how easy it will be.

She called some people liars for claiming that breast feeding and running around after their children wasn't enough to get rid of their weight and therefore made us civilians feel bad if it didn't go the same way for us. She said 'from her experience' your figure doesn't just spring back and implied that was how it was for everyone else. Well I wish I'd taken pictures of my belly going back down over the days after having Mason in the same way I took pictures of my bump growing bigger, she would frankly have to eat her words. What she failed to mention was how everybody is different, these women who seemed to 'spring back' had to be lying as it wasn't the case for her. 

I'm not saying I sprung back into shape instantly, but moments after my son being born I just looked like I had a big meal, obviously my belly wasn't as toned as it once was but I was shocked how different it was in a matter of hours. I admit I was lucky (is it lucky to have a flatter tummy? really?)  but for some this is actually the case, I'm not the freak of nature I'm made out to be. 

I didn't over eat when I was pregnant, eating for two is a myth, in fact you're not supposed to up your calorie intake until the last 3 months of pregnancy and even then it's only the extra calories that would equate to a slice of toast! I got very bored when pregnant so I spent a lot of it going for walks, but that's as far as my exercise regime went.

Some use being preggers as an excuse to go nuts and eat what you like as 'you're getting fat anyway'  which is completely fine, you should do what the hell you want! 

It's implied that REAL women with babies don't have time to shower or put make-up on. Well, some real women are lucky and they do, some have good babies who nap or sit watching you while they giggle away as you dust a brush over your face. It's not abnormal and it doesn't make you a bad mother to make yourself feel human. That's how you shake off this 'lack of identitiy' that some people feel.

 I love seeing mums looking glam, that makes me smile, it makes me think 'good on you, you had a tiny bit of me time and did something to make you feel more of a woman again and less of a baby maker'. We should be helping each other along, not trying to knock each other down at the next hurdle. Being a new Mum is hard enough!

I guess having this blog helped me make sure I kept up with the beauty world. It gave me something else to think about other than nappies and nap times, and it did me good. 

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all easy. I didn't have the best people around me at first, but in all other aspects I was coping relatively well. My son was growing well, he was what people describe as a 'good baby' and I was happy with my body, it was only other people making me feel bad for how I looked!


I was breast feeding, which burns 500 calories a day anyway, I was also keeping active, going for walks and making sure I kept our house perfect. I took on the housewife role and I was moving non stop. I didn't gain a lot during my pregnancy anyway, to quote the article I was one that "looked like a stick insect with a football up her top" (how flattering of her to say) but I was back in my size 8 jeans within weeks. Something society has made us believe we should be proud of but I felt guilty for it! I felt hated by other women, not only mums who were struggling to lose their baby weight but people without children too, even my friends would make comments to make me feel bad. It got to a point where I hated seeing other women who had ever had children as I knew the subject of my size would come up. 

What I'm trying to say is articles like this one don't help. There's constant complaints about the media body shaming the larger women, but it works the other way too. I know many other people who were back in shape quickly after having children, either by joining a gym, by breast feeding, by running around after kids or it's just their metabolism.  It shouldn't matter. Nothing should. Why should women who still carry their baby weight be ridiculed? But also why should the ones who lost it almost instantly? Don't make anyone feel bad for how their bodies are. We've just had a baby for gods sake! 

Hate your belly? Do some sit ups when the baby is playing. You're not meant to hold them the whole time anyway. The baby will probably find it funny to watch! But I've always been of the mind 'if you don't like something then change it' I've got no sympathy for people who moan about their weight one minute then are eating a wheel of cheese and getting drunk a day later, if you really care you will sort it. If not, you can't really be that unhappy. Work out if you really are unhappy with your body or if you just feel you should be because that's what we've been told. 

What if you don't want to lose your baby weight? What if it doesn't bother you at all? Good on you! That shouldn't be ridiculed either, it's all down to personal preference. If you're happy being what ever size you are, that's awesome! It's your mind that matters, nobody else's. Do what makes you happy. 

Yay for big hot mamas! and Yay for gorgeous slim mummys.
We're all Wonder women, just look what we created! 

Baby Mason

So you've read my view, why not have a read of the lovely Carrie's story here, she took it easy during her pregnancy for her own health and had to work off the extra weight gradually for her own reasons. 


And while you're at it go and follow Carrie on Twitter  @Deards123



  1. I'm not a mother yet but I really love this post, I hate women (lets be honest it's mostly women) who body shame other women. We can't help our natural shapes, and it's more of a priority for some than for others and that's ok, whichever side you're on! I think it's especially important to withhold judging of new mums, like you say it's a personal choice how you deal with baby weight and for some lucky mums it's a non-issue because it comes off so easily! Very well written, and I couldn't agree more. Xx

    Kitty |

  2. Interesting, guess everyone is different at the end of the day.

  3. Great post!! Everyone is different and everyone's bodies react to different things in different ways. We should celebrate the fact that we're not all the same - life would be boring if we were! Never feel guilty for looking fab, you're doing great and are a great mum too :) xx

  4. My children are 18, 16 and 6 but I can still relate to this post. I lost most if the weight quite quickly, but even now I am struggling to tone up my belly ... Merely through lack of self discipline! Gorgeous photo of Mason ... what a head if hair!! xxx