Monday, 21 December 2015

12 Things I don't like about Christmas

Christmas is all about positivity isn't it? Love, joy, gratitude in the air....

oh I do like to go against the grain sometimes...


I love Christmas time, I really do. For years it's been my favourite time of year. I've gone from loving it as a kid, believing in all the Christmas magic, to the teenager who secretly loved any excuse to spend proper time with her family. I loved Christmas in my early twenties, the parties with friends, Christmas work dos, I even loved the one time I worked in retail in a camera shop on Christmas eve -there was such a great atmosphere and a real buzz getting the sales. 

Just when Christmas was stepping into the 'oh it's all so stressful' territory that I've always heard my elders talk of, the Christmas flame was reignited when I had my son. Seeing Christmas through a child's eyes is lovely and it's made me more excited during the lead-up. 

However

There are a few things about the festive season that 
"ruffle my feathers", 
"rustle my jimmies", 
"get my tinsel in a tangle", if you will....

1. Crackers
Unless you spend a fortune on them (and who would?!) there's never anything decent in them! Never. I hate the awkwardness of 'do we pull the cracker now?' before dinner? After dinner? During dinner when you have a mouth full of pigs in blankets?!  And there's always that competitive one who holds it really tight, really far up. Calm down! it's a tiny plastic frog, you have have the prize!

2. Christmas Songs
The whole 'Christmas Number One' thing is getting ridiculous, it's all about X Factor now or it's somebody wanting to 'Show Simon Cowell who's boss' by getting another song to number one instead. Where is the Christmas cheer in that?!
I have come to the conclusion that there are less than 5 Christmas songs that are any good. An old man shouting 'ITS CHRISTMAAAAS!' is just weird. And imagine if it really was Christmas everyday.... just think about it.

3. Christmas Gifts
Now I have to emphasise I am talking about 'Gifts', not 'Presents'. 
There's a difference 
*whispers* there's a difference 
(side note- guess that film)

I saw Dave Gorman talk about this and he hit the nail on the head. A Gift is something you wouldn't ever buy for yourself. At Christmas they're everywhere. Stick on moustaches, Pugs that poop out jelly beans, A 'Grow Your Own Boyfriend' kit... It's a waste of time and money for everyone involved. And you're not allowed to throw them out because that's rude, so you have to store these things for months before they 'accidentally' get thrown out in your big Spring Clean Clear-Out.

4. Christmas Jumpers
When did this become a thing? Mark Darcy was ridiculed for his Reindeer monstrosity in Bridget Jones's Diary but now it's fair game to wear something knitted and ugly.
I've never been a fan of warm clothes and frumpy Christmas jumpers just make me think of being stuffy and sweaty. You're indoors for 99% of the day, and the oven is on cooking the huge warm dinner you're about to eat. Why do you need a wooly jumper on?

5. Getting Competitive
I can't stand people who need to out-do others. The people who need to have the perfect tree, and the brightest Christmas lights. The ones that feel the need to spend loads on presents and brag about it. I've always been more impressed by thoughtful gifts, it doesn't matter if you spent £50 when it's obvious you picked up two of the same thing, one for your sister and one for me. "I'm sure they both love the smell of lavender..."
Also the need to get your shopping done before everyone else, to get your decorations up first. It really doesn't matter. Stop Judging. Get it all sorted when you like. If it's done on November 30th or December 24th who cares? Christmas is still on the same day!

6. Mince pies
Something that sounds like it has meat in it but it doesn't. Lies. Foil cups of pastry covered lies. 

7.Winter Wonderland
Visiting Winter Wonderland is on the 'must do at Christmas time' list for pretty much all Londoners but I think it's incredibly over-rated. It's busy, (usually) cold, overpriced and.... well, a bit boring. Being squashed between a load of Primark Parkas to buy a cup of overpriced Mulled Wine from a wooden hut and take a 'festive selfie' just doesn't appeal to me. 

8. Buying for people 'cos you should 
There is an air of fake-ness when you buy for people you don't get on with. When someone I know doesn't like me gets me a gift I'm always a little confused. Then it's awkward, what if I didn't get them something? Now I'm the bitch. You smugly tick off everyone on your Christmas Shopping list and then it's "Oh you need to get a present for your cousins boyfriend who we've met once and we don't actually like'' and you have to run down to Tesco on Christmas eve and panic buy a box of generic Chocolates (as you don't know them well enough to know if they like Orange chocolate or have a Nut allergy) and a Nivia for Men Gift Set. Christmas should be about giving because you want to, not because you have to.

9. Christmas TV
I always get my hopes up and think something great will be on over Christmas. I'm sure when I was younger I'd go through the TV guide circling all of the things I needed to watch but now there's just nothing that excites me. I don't really like a lot of Christmas films either if I'm honest. Home Alone 2 and Muppets Christmas Carol, that's about it. And no. I don't like Elf.

10. Secret Santa
Oh the Stress of Secret Santa! What if someone bought me a great present and I've only bought them an ok present? How can I get something that looks decent for £5? Everyone ends up knowing who everyone's got anyway and nine times out of ten you are desperate to swap for someone else. Once I had a colleague that I didn't know too well but we spoke at great length about her love for the Sex And The City film. I was chuffed with myself when I got her a 'Love' keyring like the one in the film. Everyone has keys right? I was on to a winner. Well she was fired and I have no idea if she ever received the gift or knew it was from me. Also that year I was the one person who didn't receive a gift. Stupid Secret Santa. 

11. The impersonal Xmas text
'Hey! Merry Xmas. Thanks for the present, I love it. Hope you have a great day. X'
If it's not personal to me, I don't want your generic mass-text that's identical to the one sent to the rest of your phone book. Thank you very much.

12. Mulled Wine 
Warm red wine with fruit in it. If it was so good surely we'd drink it more than once a year.



I do love the family time, I'm a strange person that actually enjoys wrapping presents, giving presents - even shopping for presents! I love the Christmas dinner, the fact that no matter how much everyone wishes it's just not going to snow, and all of the lovely magical feeling in the air. I love Christmas, honestly I do!

This can't be just me.
I'd love to know what you dislike about the festive season.




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3 comments:

  1. I actually really like most of those things, what I can't stand the most is people putting pictures of their presents on social- it's such bad taste and makes them look like a knob! Kind of fits in with #5 I guess.

    Claudia Harriet // Student Lifestyle Blog

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  2. "foil cups of pastry covered lies." LOL, hilarious.

    I totally agree with you that Winter Wonderland is overrated too, unless you actually enjoy being pushed and shoved in a crowd.

    I do love mulled wine though and I've got a way to combat the cracker issue. My Mum always buys a kit where you make your own and you choose presents to go inside them. They're always 100% better than the shop bought ones and can be made really personal.

    Loves this post :) xx

    www.kirstytalks.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is absolutely brilliant!
    Charlotte // charlottespicks.blogspot.com

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