Now, don't get me wrong. I love Sex and the City. I have watched the box sets over and over again. I have my favourite girls (Samantha) and Guys (Aiden) and I've lusted over and laughed at many many of the outfits. I've wished I had Carries time to write and her shoe collection, and at times her hair was great... But that's about it, my love of her stops there.
You see, the trouble with one of my favourite TV series' is the main character, Carrie. Wardrobe aside, what is there to like about her? If she was your friend you'd tell her where to go... well I would! She's just so self centred and selfish and a right royal pain in the arse!
What sparked this post is when I put on the first Sex and the city Movie while I got on with some cleaning. It worked out as a positive in the end really as I was getting worked up which meant there was some very thorough cleaning going on as I scrubbed through my anger!
Rather than going through points of all 6 series, I shall just point out what she does wrong in the first film alone.
I'm of course writing this assuming you've seen it, so I'm sorry if you don't know what I'm talking about. This film winds me up, but I love it, and I'll continue to watch it over and over. I'll always moan about Carrie's behaviour. It's like when I watch Big Brother/Towie/Don't tell the bride... there are a lot of people on TV that just grate on me and I moan about. I love TV that gets a reaction. It's the kind of tv watcher I am, I watch and I rant and that is what I love Twitter for, letting me bond with other people who do the same. It's all harmless and shouldn't be taken too seriously...
Anyway, I digress...
So the start of the film you get the feeling of excitement, the recap of the amazing tv series we all know and loved in the 90's. We See Carrie view an apartment with Big, the first point she annoys me is the line 'hello, I live here' -who does that?! ANNOYING. Then when she tells her friends about it she fobs off Miranda's attempt at giving some sensible advice and basically tells her to shut up and just be jealous. nice.
"From now on you'll be my Man-Friend"
So they get engaged... in their kitchen. She makes Samantha be maid of honour when she's expressed how she thinks it's "painful and unnecessary" but of course she doesn't care how her friends feel. She just wants everything her way. For someone who didn't seem too excited about marriage she surely gets the Bridezilla part right!
"I don't really believe in marriage, now Botox on the other hand, that works every time"
She plans to move in with her hubby-to-be. Her friends drop everything in their lives to help her pack all her stuff away while she prances around in old clothes doing a fashion show for them. ok I know this was for the audience's benefit but still, imagine for a second you were in that situation you'd be like 'ok quit fucking about now, I've got stuff to do, k?'
"The Bride wore a dress by no-one"
Steve has cheated on Miranda but Carrie has a wedding to plan! Friends and their problems do not matter right now! She has to finalise her seating plan and tie bows onto things or what ever it is people that plan weddings do.
After saying in a roundabout way 'this closet is too small, I hate it here!' Mr. Big kindly builds her a bigger shoe closet, the moment the whole cinema gasped when we all saw it. Suddenly it's quadrupled in size. From a little cupboard you can now walk around in it. What is that closet, Narnia? This isn't so much her fault, I realise, it's just a part in the film that baffles me, any expert DIYers please let me know if this is at all possible, if so I would like one!
The night before the wedding she gets a call from the man she is marrying in a few hours, he's clearly upset, concerned and wanting to talk, but she doesn't want to hear it, she makes some joke about how she is a great writer and fobs him off. Selfish Carrie strikes again. Not only a bitch to her friends, but to her men too.
On her wedding day she has the worst roots I've ever seen on a woman, I mean, all that planning and no time to fit in a trip to the hairdressers?!
There's no surprise Mr. Big doesn't turn up, I'd be having second thoughts too! When she hears the news she orders (not asks) someone to give her a phone, then when he says he's turned around she shouts 'get me out of here' GET YOURSELF OUT OF THERE! How did you get there? were you lifted up the stairs?! You have legs! Have these poor girls not done enough?!...etc
The car passes him in the street and she attacks him with her bouquet shouting 'I'm humiliated'. Yes love, you are making a scene in the street with a bird on your head! Of course you are humiliated. If she stopped being BAT SHIT CRAZY for a moment she'd hear him say 'I'm ready' but no, she's on a roll now, petals everywhere!
Again the girls all rally round, They try and get her out of her honeymoon by suggesting there had been a death. She says 'wasn't' there..?' ...NOPE, no there wasn't actually. They cancel their plans and fly to Mexico to join her on her would-be honeymoon. That's some pretty amazing friends if you ask me. She spends the whole time moping and letting her friends do everything for her, including feed her! I mean, come on woman! Does she ever show her appreciation? Of course not.
"I need to get out of my Mexi-coma"
When back in New York she dyes her hair brown (probably easier, considering the roots) and hires an assistant as she probably realises she can't keep getting her friends to sort her life out for her, she might as well pay someone to do it. Because she's so busy with... what? Ignoring Mirandas real problem? Which ok, I sliiightly blame Miranda for, if you are going to let yourself slip and stop making the effort and stop trimming then you can't be surprised when your man strays, she needed to take a bit of the responsibility. But this post isn't about Miranda, Carrie should still be there for her friend, whether or not she's in the wrong. And if she is in the wrong she should tell her, not sit there going 'yea... what a bastard'
"Jesus Honey, Wax Much?"
The only nice thing Carrie does for her friend is look after Lily while Charlotte is at the doctors, and even then she tells her fairytales aren't real, shattering the poor girls dreams. Hey Carrie why not tell her Santa doesn't exist while you're at it?!
I could go into how I think the kid used to play lily was a terrible choice as she cant act for toffee but that might just be too mean...
She has a Valentines meal with Miranda and finally takes some responsibility and admits she made the wedding all about her, while of course not being able to resist adding in an awful pun 'I let it get bigger than Big' but suddenly she takes it all back when Miranda admits that she said 'I don't know why you're getting married' ... cos apparently that's enough to blame the WHOLE thing on her. But that's so much easier, shift the responsibility on to someone else Carrie, you're good at that. Never mind all of Miranda's other problems! Add this one too it, your day is clear now, take the day off, Louise from St Louis can take it from here!
After having their big fall out over nothing a really awful version of auld lang syne is played that is so annoying that I mute the tv. They make up, with Miranda making the first move even though she's done nothing wrong. And basically they all live happily ever after. Kind of.
All this drama for what is essentially momentary cold feet which would have been prevented if little Lily hadn't touched Carries phone. Keep your kid away from other peoples stuff Charlotte!Anyway.
I'm hoping it wont put you off watching it though, it's a great film, really it is.